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Hitting the cervix of a woman is incredibly painful. Google something like "cervix bruising" and you'll get a bunch of articles saying how much it hurts to have you cervix bruised, and that a guy with a big dingus dongus has to make sure he thrusts from a certain angle or it's VERY not fun for the woman.

If you're still like "ay it's just fantasy who cares about biological realism" then that's totally fine! I just thought I'd spread some knowledge if anyone reading this thinks cervix play is hot because the woman gets physical pleasure from it. Maybe if she's a severe masochist but otherwise big noperino on that one.

It's an old joke that has been used many times, but it still made me laugh so to me it's worth more than a 2.

Maybe as a sequel you could get him to ask again but when the guy answers he says, "IDK not IDN!" Just to put that bit of individuality into it. Still a bad joke but it's less cliché than the original.

Sorry if that sounded harsh! Just my critical view.

Cr9stal responds:

well at least your constructive with your criticism, Also i'm trying to add more movement

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Nice art and I love the protagonists voice. I can't really give it a high score since it's so early in development that it didn't really have a whole lot too it. YET! (I hope).

One issue I had was the feeling like these characters aren't authentic. When people make decisions too quickly or if the user can't see (or read, as a VN I guess) the consequences/stakes that makes them come to their decision, and if the characters are just given a bunch of exposition or don't really react in a meaningful way etc. it seems unrealistic and less "immersive". It's obviously a really hard balance to strike though, and I might be the only one with this feeling anyway!

Also, even though the instructions said how to kill the monster, I had some readability issues with the shooting. It took me like 4 tries to even hit the monster because I first thought that I could control the angle of the shot, and then I thought that it only shot across the north axis, only realizing then that it was a vertical shot. I know this was explained somewhat in the instructions but I thought I'd mention my dumbass so you could make the instructions more idiot proof. Maybe a short animation in the instructions to show how to shoot the monster.

I still played it through, so it's not bad or anything, just super early days!

hentaiwriter responds:

Thanks for the review/critique and rating both :)

So for the authenticity of the characters, that's partially because this is early on in the game, and while I have gigantic backstories/relationship stuff written up about everyone, I want to leak that stuff out slowly through the game to give you a better idea why say, Melinda is able to remain as calm as she is (due to her backstory), why Ruth is so intense and blunt about everything (due to her backstory), why Sylvie is so black and white with her morals and so quick to judge (due to... you get the point :P) and so on.

I'm essentially putting you in the middle of these character's lives, and then as the course of the game goes on, you'll learn where they came from/what made them as they were, as well as what they're going to turn into as people over the course of this game. (It's a long game; probably 40-60 hours estimated when done!)

So it's understandable that some of their choices seem odd, for sure.

We are trimming down some of the text though and revising a few things because of critique like this, because we do understand it's a demo and come the full game, things will be more clear, but for a demo it's not too clear for some people for obvious reasons.

About the immersion factor though, I'm actually glad you're feeling that some aspects of the game are unrealistic and non-immersive; this is intentional, both the unrealistic part (as it's intended to make the player question the inaccuracies and oddities in what's being told to you, the player, as "the truth"), and with the immersion part (as we want Melinda to be her own entity; you may make choices for her, but otherwise, she's got her own personality, backstory, and so on).

For the boss fight, yeah, the instructions note you have to stand under his shadow, but in the full game there'll be something where Vera will be talking to you on the side instructing you how to deal with it and such, through speech bubbles and voiceovers.

You must not have a lot of time, or you don't enjoy working out the mechanics of this series because you change very few things without any simple quality of life changes.

Like..
- closing the work window when I'm unable to work. "If energy = less than 40, close the work window" would be a very welcome change that is small, but so effective. It would mean one less movement of the mouse and click for the player.

- Move the boxes after a victory a bit closer together so i don't have to trek across the whole screen 40 times.

- Label the work shed so I don't have to go searching for it, like the label the potion shop has. You obviously copy/paste the game onto the next one (which is fine), so if you change it now, all your future games will be noticeably better.

The game is satisfying not because it's hard, but because it's just time consuming and tedious. That means players will get more and more annoyed with every installment. If you're going to reply "this will be improved in a later version" or whatever like usual, I don't care. I only care if you ACTUALLY change something, not just say you will. That's disingenuous and frustrating.

I'm never going to even consider giving money to you unless you actually change your game for the better, beyond plot.

Edit : I've reflected and I've decided that this is quite harsh, and that it takes a long time to make a game, and even longer to make improvements. I don't know your personal situation so it's rude of me to just expect more and more when I'm not contributing at all to your success. If I was paying you under the assumption that you would implement my feedback, or working with you on these games, then I would be justified in my words, but the fact of the matter is that I am not. All I do is play every single installment and rate it honestly, which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't much. Plus, who says my opinion is something that should be implemented in the first place? Quite entitled of me, I must say.

I will be a nicer reviewer next time!

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This is so savage.

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